“Love yourself, accept yourself, forgive yourself and be good to yourself, because without you the rest of us are without a source of many wonderful things.”
— Leo F. Buscaglia
Gratitude is at the heart of a satisfying life.
As the first few days of a new month pass, and I anticipate the new moon cycle, a time of setting clean and clear intentions, I am aware of the gratitude I carry in my heart. I am grateful for this life and for my family, blood and found (including Rosie, our little dog, now 16+ years old). I am blessed with friends who love and celebrate me, see me clearly and hold me accountable…and who let me do that for and with them.
Today, a friend is about to head into surgery, while another friend is dealing with numerous and real crises as a young mother. Also today, our second of four sons, Mattie, is preparing to move out to launch the next phase of life. He will be the last of our boys to do so.
The paper whites and amaryllis plants are done. It’s time to let them go. All of these endings tug at my heartstrings, as endings tend to do.
We must name and honor the endings in order to clear the way for healthy new beginnings.
So much is changing, and quickly. Perhaps too quickly? Hopefully, for the better…although we all know that life isn’t always like that.
As I hear the sounds of packing down the hall and prepare to do my part (limited, given that I’m still recovering from total knee replacement surgery), I’m feeling grateful for it all. For all the times we’ve had together, the sharing, the challenges, and the celebrations. That we walked these paths, together, mostly, and that our relationships are better for it. For the joyful, beautiful moments, and for the acrimony and sideways challenges. For the friction that grows us up. And for the awareness that it is the sand in the oyster that creates the pearls.
Some part of me must have known how vital it would be to develop the capacity to forgive and reflect, learn and rebuild, deepen and move on from there. Self-forgiveness has been such a critical part of building this beautiful life, and staying present to it.
Forgiveness is a super-power, something we can all learn and do.
My whole life has been a forgiveness revolution; a masterclass even. And necessary. Deep breath.
I’ve been a student of the teachings of the most beautiful teachers. The wisdom of Jesus, Mary Magdalene, Mother Theresa, Gandhi, Maya Angelou, Martin Luther King, Jr., Buddha, Hildegard of Bingen, Rumi, Hafiz and many other gifted mystics and healers sustains and nurtures me. One thing that is common to them all? Forgiveness. It is paramount, a necessary part of loving and living while we’re alive.
Forgiveness arises out of intolerance and rests on understanding.
This understanding leads to devotion, compassion and a selfless desire to serve.
It is becoming clearer to me, as illustrated in my Human Design Chart* and Gene Keys Hologenetic Profile*, why my life has unfolded as it has. My life is all about this revolution of forgiveness. I can speak to this from inside the experience of it; it’s power and gifts. I’ve had to heal, remember who I am, and find the courage to use my voice, in order to live in alignment with this purpose. It’s a lifelong journey and useful every day.
Moving days are so bittersweet.
Mattie said he had strange, stress dreams all night. They were about his fears around what he’d be leaving behind and the unknowns he is stepping into. It is healthy that he has this awareness and is open to feeling into it.
I’m happy for him to move on, to be in a house near campus with new friends. This is an opportunity for him to simplify some parts of his life, personally and professionally and enjoy being a newly minted, out-and-proud, gay professor of graduate studies. AND… I’ve gotten used to having him here, participating in his journey, relying on him for my own healing process and for the company we keep.
I am grateful for the love we share and continue to nurture, these days, adult to adult. We set this intention and have been practicing, which yields fruit.
At his suggestion, and request, we have agreed to get together regularly.
My heart is happy, for both of us.
Forgiveness has been central to our healing.
For us, forgiveness has been central to our healing, as individuals and in our relationship. It’s softened and strengthened us. Being committed to developing this capacity to forgive has required us to slow down and pause often. The practices of forgiveness have helped us to navigate the storms and ride the waves that can weaken or strengthen relationships. We’ve learned how to come from truth not story, allowing each of us to become more of who we actually are.
Thus, forgiveness is how we perform magic. And access grace. It’s how we’ve learned to accept and deeply love ourselves, and one another.
Forgiveness is how we stay connected to who and what matters most. It helps us, actually, to discern this.
There is a way for you to love yourself, accept yourself, and be good to yourself. It begins with forgiveness.
May you know, deep in your bones, that without you the rest of us are without a source of many wonderful things.
I encourage you to harness the power of self-forgiveness to love your life, love yourself, and love others.
Let forgiveness lay the foundation for you to receive love, to build healthy relationships, and live while you’re alive.
Remember that forgiveness, resting on understanding, is possible to achieve. You have the power to make it real, no matter what life brings.
Forgiveness is an advanced self-leadership skill, a healing muscle each of us can build, a gift we can give to ourselves and one another.
It is a source, as you are, of many wonderful things.
*Special Invitation:
If you are curious about exploring your purpose (1), your life’s work (2), what keeps you healthy (3), and what you’re here to learn (4), through the lens of Human Design and the Gene Keys, then let’s talk! I have spent a few years in a deep dive to study these systems and have loved what they’ve had to offer me on my own journey to greater self-awareness, self-confidence and clarity. I imagine that I will be a lifelong student of Human Design and have begun to share what I am learning. My clients are enjoying it too.
I’d love to share these systems with you to jumpstart your own journey to greater personal and professional insight, self-acceptance, self-love and self-mastery, which is why, through April, 2024, I’m offering a unique opportunity to do so with me. After providing me with the personal data I need from you (name, birthdate, birth time and birth place), and registering for a 90-minute call ($150), we will meet and explore your chart and these four elements together. You will get a chart to take home with you for further study and enjoyment. I look forward to meeting you and doing this exploration together.
