I believe that there is power in vulnerability and vulnerability in power. Strong as a value to me is about living into this belief every day.
Whole Persons with Whole Power embrace both their capacity to be powerful and vulnerable with curiosity, humility and a clear intention to learn, evolve and use their power well, in service to life and all humanity. I believe that we are always both weak and strong, incompetent and competent, beastly and beautiful. When we are self-aware, when we know ourselves as this and own it, our relationship to all parts of ourselves and others can flourish; we can channel their gifts with facility and ease. When we learn how to self-lead, we know when to take something on for ourselves and others and when to ask for or offer help; and, we trust that when we mess up, we’re able to recover.
Once, when my kids were little and their fighting escalated to a dangerous level, my husband bellowed in an unusually commanding voice, “Come here now!” They scurried into the room, compelled by his intensity. Lined up in birth order, opposite him, and only in their boxers, they quaked, perhaps waiting to be punished. Instead, he asked them, “What’s the duty of the strong?” They squirmed and responded, “To protect the weak.” (Apparently, they’d had this conversation before!) Nodding with approval, a little smirk taking over his face, he asked, “And what’s the duty of the weak?” In a chorus, they shouted, “To become strong!” Then everyone laughed. They scampered off, smiling, and their slightly less lethal play resumed.
At Dori Klass & Associates, we honor that we will have moments when we use our power well and when we don’t. There will be times when we need to be pulled into the lifeboat and times when we’re pulling people into the lifeboat. For many seasoned and successful people, leaders at home and in the world, we’ve spent a lifetime pulling people into lifeboats, caring for and serving others and being the one everyone leans on. If we are honest with ourselves, many of us are exhausted. Additionally, as I’ve experienced myself and with many of my clients, we have come to over-rely on and, perhaps, deplete, our natural abilities.
There are times when we need someone to lean on too. Learning to be the container and developing the ability to lean into others, so that they can contain us, is an advanced skill for successful leaders and an act of grace and wisdom.
It is our duty to be both the leaned upon and the leaner, to acknowledge when we are feeling weakened, and when we are strong. This is another way we become strong. When we know ourselves as vulnerable and invulnerable, powerful and powerless, and when we can step out from behind the conditioned judgments about these, we have choice. This is where true power and empowerment lies…in the choices we make.
As we cultivate our relationships with power and vulnerability, we cultivate our ability to show ourselves compassion when we are weak or somehow less than and show ourselves compassion when we are strong. And we can give this gift to others…which is unbelievably empowering and freeing.
Then we can turn back to life with a youthful attitude of curiosity, creativity and play.
