I couldn’t figure out why I was getting all these nagging little illnesses, over and over again, from colds to sinus infections to high ankle sprains, aches and pains that took forever to heal. Long work days? Busy life? Asking too much of myself or my body? Out of alignment and integrity with my core values? Do I even know my core values? I wanted answers.
Around that same time and over many years to follow, the decades-long career and job that brought me welcomed challenges and excitement, abundance and joy started to feel like more of a struggle. Torn between priorities and falling short of my desire to perform excellently in all parts of my life, I knew I needed a change. I suspected that my life path, lack of personal agency and clear choices, and a need for deep healing were contributing to my niggling illnesses, which was eventually confirmed.
Caroline Myss became an important muse during this time and her works became a source of awakening, empowering, informative and timeless resources that contributed to my confidence, clarity, conviction and healing.
I’ve read and/or listened to ALL of her books, some many times. This one, her second, had a most profound impact on me. It’s where she introduced the concept of Woundology and how, in her experience and research, she found that, for many of us, the only way we experience intimacy is through bonding on our wounds. To give them up (and the stories we’ve become attached to around them) is not only to have to change and take direct responsibility for our lives, experiences and impact, but it also requires us to shift out of a victim mentality and, even harder, might also mean giving up the only form of intimacy we know. Terrifying.
However unconscious, few of us want to admit we are bonding over our wounds, playing the victim, or craving and needing intimacy, whether that involves our sexuality or not. One might argue that we live in a victim culture. And intimacy is like the air we breathe. So, if we’re not bonding over our wounds and if we’re not comfortable with intimacy, then what do we do? What should I do? Over what should we bond, and how? What’s happening here?
Myss suggests that we have mental and emotional blocks that are getting in the way of healing life and physical issues. Many call this psychobabble, another way to appear strong that keeps us invulnerable. By turning toward our wounds and learning from them, having a relationship with them, we have the opportunity to call our parts, pieces and power back, and bring about true healing.
I will take this discussion further in my next book review post, Why People Don’t Heal And How They Can – Part 2 – by Caroline Myss, Ph.D. So, stay tuned! Maybe that will give you time to download the book and start listening to it! 😉
(Find this book in the Recommended Reading section of my website, under: Guiding Principle #3 — Make Love the Most Important Thing)
