“In order to escape from prison, one must first understand that one is in prison.“
~ George Gurdjieff
I am activating my observer, really paying attention to my behaviors, my environment, my thoughts, my beliefs, and appreciating all the things that have fueled or inspired me in the past that may be having a different impact now… including, blocking the energy, stopping the flow, leaving me feeling stuck in my otherwise beautiful life and home.
As I awaken from a level of slumber I didn’t entirely know I was in, I’m realizing how completely I need to make some things change, so that my outer life reflects and is in alignment with my inner life…and what’s wanted now! I feel like my home, in its current state, and my old habits, are getting in the way of me living an aligned and purposeful life, and that’s on me…
A part of me is terribly overwhelmed by the thought of bringing about massive change here, and quickly, and another part of me is extremely excited and motivated by all the possibilities inherent in that change!
I am very clear how the environment of my home has become kind of stale and stagnant. What was once beautiful and inspiring to me, and functional and purposeful with a family of five, sometimes six+, actively running around and living in all of its spaces, is now something different. To some extent, each room doesn’t know anymore what it’s supposed to be. My home feels abandoned.
So I’m carving out some time to do some deep reflection and collaborating with House Whisperer & Design Alchemist, Elyse Santoro, to revitalize my home, and at the same time, parallel path my work with her to feel revitalized myself, while climbing out from under the debris and the accumulated stuff of the past 62 years.
Hopefully, by this time in May or June, everything will feel a whole lot more alive and relevant, comfortable and cozy…and the energy will be moving and flowing again. I want my house to feel like a home again and be happy with us in it. And I want it to be a source of inspiration again, to hold me in my ambition and aspirations. A big ask, I know.
Between now and then, my living room might be completely empty with the exception of our piano. Many of my beloved books will have found new homes. And there will be space, to breathe, to play, to be me, to entertain and host gatherings of people who, like me, yearn to grow and expand within a conscious community. So much is going to change.
And, by the way, for any of you who live locally who need or could use some very solid and gently used furniture, including couches and chairs, a dining room table and chairs, a hutch and bedframe and nightstands, lamps and a desk, we have lots of stuff that will be looking for a new home. I’m in donation mode, so come and get it!
Otherwise, I’m inclined to contact Habitat for Humanity and have it all picked up in one fell swoop, but if there’s anybody who is in need of some furnishings for a room or multiple rooms and other things – or books! – it’s coming available pretty much any time! Let me know!
This external transformation is very much happening to reflect the internal transformations and transitions I’ve been in over time. It’s been a decades-long journey that many of you have been a part of.
What a gift it’s been to witness your journeys to wholeness and transformation and thank you so much for bearing witness to mine.
To be clear, the journey is lifelong. That being said, it’s time for me to take stock, shed the old and get my inner and outer worlds aligned. Whether I have weeks, months or decades to live, I’m going to do it in a space that knows it’s loved and loves me — and anyone who joins me here — back!
I look forward to sharing how this unfolds and seeing whatever you guys are up to as you make changes in your own lives throughout this new year.